The 2004 Healing Arts Directory
of 375 Quacks
Presented is Omahas 375
quacks, an account of the 2004 Healing Arts Directory published by The Heartland
Healing Center (Michael Braunstein, q.v.) in cooperation with The Reader.
Omahas 375 quacks.
The 2004 Healing Arts Directory, published in cooperation with The Reader by The
Heartland Healing Center (Michael Braunstein, -see The Braunstein Chronicles) begins as
Heartland Healing began maintaining a database of practitioners of alternative
healing arts back in 1994. As demand grew, so did the list. This year, there are over 375
practitioner listings in the Directory. [They]...seek to work with nature ... etc.
As usual Michael goes on to badmouth the conventional medicine that has doubled our
lifespans. But then a hint of reality intrudes:
Yet the possibility exists that alternative therapies can become as commercially
bottom-line based as any other endeavor. When the drive for the dollar eclipses the desire
to facilitate healing, so-called alternatives can become misguided. But dont
look to Michael for any help in spotting the frauds! Instead, on page 31 we find this
Acid in the Balance: Whether our inner terrain is acid or alkaline can affect
health. .... Lets just stop right here. Once again hes full of baloney
and doesnt know what hes talking about. The body automatically maintains a
balance; its a matter of life or death. Asked about this inner terrain
assertion, a PhD biologist friend of mine who teaches Anatomy & Physiology commented:
Meat is acid-ash food, and vegetables are alkaline-ash, but ... your inner terrain
doesn't change in pH without dire consequences. E.g. blood pH ranges from 7.35 to 7.45.
Outside this range you can't live for very long. (If you dont recall your High
School chemistry, pH or potential Hydrogen is how we measure
acidity/alklinity, with 7 being neutral.) Now back to Braunsteins article: What
if everything you thought you knew about the cause of disease was wrong? What if there
really was a way out of this scary scenario? More to the point, the reader should be
worried about what if everything Braunstein thought HE knew about the cause of disease was
wrong! And whats with this Scary scenario phrase? Like George Bush,
first he scares us, then offers us snake oil. The one thing neither of them would ever ask
us to do is to think.
Now heres a hoot, on page 10. Randall Bradley, peddler of distilled water (see
homeopathy, above) has the nerve to tell us to watch out for the fake quacks; buy your
snake oil only from genuine quacks. It must be hard to tell the difference, since there is
no real science to learn for a quack degree, just some jargon! But Bradley takes a stab at
...a thriving market has developed for mail order doctor degrees.
The most popular of these bogus degrees is naturopathy....While these practitioners may be
well-meaning and may actually help some people feel better, they are often not aware of
the huge gaps and misinformation within their knowledge....One mail order naturopath was
recently convicted of manslaughter.
That wont stop em. All they have to do is say, exactly as Dr.
Bradley does, MY magic is the REAL magic, not like that rival witch doctors!
Business must be good; Bradley has hired an accomplice, a naturopath (but one with a
certificate!), to help fleece the gullible; Linda Sorenson, whose article on page 14
boasts that in Nebraska, medical and osteopathic doctors, dentists and chiropractors
may legally use the modality of acupuncture as part of their practices whether they are
licensed acupuncturists or not. (Thats supposed to be reassuring?)
Finally, I close with Christine Zorad, she of the criminally negligent field of
chiropractic, who has a color ad up front: Specializing in Expectant Mothers,
Pediatrics, and Family Wellness. Im sorry, but in an honest world it would
read Specializing in Irresponsible Mothers, Pediatric Endangerment, and Family Death
because she is one of Omahas alt-med leaders in the fight to get families to stop
immunizing their children. Because of her baseless, unscientific, voodoo ideas about the
causes of disease, she opposes vaccination, putting our children at risk.
Three hundred and seventy five such practitioners are listed in the slick
full-color Directory, which is distributed all over to Omaha businesses. Lets hear
some applause, ladies and gentlemen, for Omahas 375 quacks, every bit as
entertaining and as dangerous now as they were in the 19th century, when they operated out
of the back of horse-drawn wagons -and occasionally got tarred & feathered (if were
to believe Martin Balsams scenes in the movie Little Big Man)! If only
we could send them all back there to those good ol days! The rest of us would then
be free to create a better, more rational, less superstitious world. And they could
experience the healing balm of tar and feathers, substances that are, after all, natural
and organic ...